A Mother's worst enemy.
I was always someone who
Throughout my pregnancy with Calvin, I was always aware of time. I knew exactly how many months and days that I was into my pregnancy and how much approximate time remained. I subscribed to every website there was that would tell me what fruit/vegetable Calvin resembled at that particular milestone. I knew more about my growing baby than the headlines being reported on the nightly news. I could not only tell you the food that he resembled, but also his approximate length, weight and what body systems were developing that week.
I believe I really did everything I could to enjoy and be present in every moment of my pregnancy. I savored the time I was given to relax in between the end of the school year and the birth of my sweet boy. However, I was always aware of how much time was left until his "due date." It's not that I couldn't wait for my pregnancy to be over, but I could not wait to meet our sweet boy. I counted down. Each new day that began was possibly the day that our baby's time with us would begin. Any minute. Any day.
On June 18, another collection of time began. This time, we counted every contraction. The length. The intensity. The frequency of occurrence. For over thirty seven hours, we counted contractions and gave a number to pain levels. You know the question, "On a scale of 1 through 10, 1 being the least amount of pain you could feel and a 10 being "put me out of my misery", what would you rate your pain through that last contraction.
Looking back, time seemed to go incredibly quickly, but I know in the moments, time was NOT on my side. I checked into the hospital at 2:00 p.m. on Wednesday, June 19th. Calvin was born at 2:07 p.m. the next day. That means we spent twenty four hours in the hospital counting before he was born.
I know it sounds ludicrous, but I loved labor. I loved every single minute of it. Not every moment was enjoyable, but it was the fact that each moment brought me closer to meeting Calvin. Yes, some moments were a bit more painful than others, but they all were bringing me closer to that miracle.
The moment Calvin was born, I wept...and wept. He was the image of perfection and a miraculous picture of God himself.
I never knew how quickly time could pass. Yes, in the past I knew that time went quickly, but I never knew it could go THIS quickly.
Someone once told me, "The days are long, but the years are short." This is SO true.
There are days when the hours seem to drag on, but then its the weekend and I have no idea where the week went. I LOVE every single day that I am blessed to spend at home with my sweet boy. I'll be honest, I don't love EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of every day, but almost. There are times when all I want is to eat a meal without rushing through it or shower without having to worry about getting out to return to what life asks of me next. HOWEVER, with one little smile, giggle or sweet look, I'm grounded.
I don't know what happened to the last 16 weeks. It seems like just yesterday that we were coming home from the hospital and learning how to navigate life with our new family member.
Now, Calvin is a little person with loads of personality. He's a big fan of eating, snuggling, his pacifier, eating, checking himself out in the mirror with his Daddy, slobbering on anything he can get his hands on, eating, meeting new people, white noise, bath time, watching "The Fox Song" music video, the hood vent on the stove, watching mom load the washing machine with the water running and many other things.
He is NOT a fan of being on a schedule, riding in the backseat by himself, being held where he can't see the "action" around him, his immobility or being cold.
Time is going too quickly and I'm attempting to soak up EVERY SINGLE MOMENT before he reaches the newest milestone. Those milestones happen in the blink of an eye and then he's onto the next one.
- caitlin
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