Calvin's Birth Story - June 20, 2013
**Warning/Disclaimer: If you don't like to read about childbirth, please stop reading here. I have written the memories from the birth of my son so that I will have these words and memories to cherish forever. If you don't want to read about my birth experience, please discontinue reading now.
Monday, June 17, 2013 - "DUE DATE"
We went in for our forty week check up Monday afternoon. I was checked and was STILL at 1 cm dilated and 0% effaced, the same that I had been since week 36 of my pregnancy. My doctor let me know that because I wasn't dilating and my cervix was still very "thick", it would probably still be a while before baby DeSalvo made his appearance. I left this appointment feeling incredibly down and with a pile of mixed emotions. I was so thrilled that baby was healthy and I still felt great. (Yes, I really did feel great up until the very end. Many people don't believe me when I say that, but I loved every minute of pregnancy.) However, I was so discouraged that my body wasn't progressing and hadn't started doing what it was supposed to.
We were supposed to have a prenatal appointment with our doula that evening, but I let her know I just kind of wanted to sulk and could barely talk about pregnancy, let alone labor, without crying. She came over to bring us some hand outs on positions for labor and it really did help to talk through things with her. She was so compassionate and wonderful it was as if God knew we needed her in that moment of uncertainty. She prayed with Joe and I. After that prayer, I felt a huge relief and peace about everything. God put me at ease and brought me the peace I was so desperately seeking.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
After another discouraging appointment on Monday, we went to bed thinking our baby boy wouldn't be born for a couple more weeks. However, I awoke around 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning to pretty intense cramping and contractions. I began to time them and they appeared to be around 5-10 minutes apart and were fairly intense. When J awoke to get ready for work, I let him know what was going on and we both decided he should probably stay home until we knew if this was the real thing or not. After all, this could be it, our son could be born today. We hung out in our bedroom watching movies and enjoying our time together as a family of two. I lost a bit of my mucous plug and had some of my "bloody show." I texted our wonderful doula to let her know what was going on so that she would be in the loop.
Then, around 10:00 a.m. the contractions began to spread out and by 11:00 a.m. they were gone with just mild cramping. J went on in to work to try and get a jump on things in case contractions sparked back up. We went to bed that night hoping to get some rest and wake up refreshed on Wednesday, but Calvin had other plans.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
After being asleep for a mere two hours or so, contractions returned. Again, they were 5-10 minutes apart and were the same intensity as Tuesday morning. However, something felt differently today. Something was telling me that this was different and things were starting to happen! I decided to wait an hour or so to wake J up. I wanted to make sure that the contractions were going to continue and this wasn't another false alarm. J awoke around 2:00 a.m. and I let him know that I was having contractions again and that I thought this was going to be the real thing this time. We both went in and out of sleep until early morning. I kept our doula in the loop all night and she let me know that this was probably the real thing but that we would see what came next.
Contractions continued to gradually intensify until J and I decided that we should call the doctor's office before making any decisions about going to the hospital. The last thing I wanted was to go to Labor and Delivery and either have them send me home or admit me too early on in labor. So, I called our wonderful doctor who said she would be okay with checking me in the office first and then going from there. [Side note: I can't say this enough, and it won't be the last time you read about her in this story, but my doctor is and was phenomenal throughout my pregnancy and birth. She was incredibly supportive of our desires to have an all natural birth and was on board with our birth plan from day one.]
We packed the last minute things into our bags and loaded up the car. We said good bye to our home...leaving it for the last time as a family of two. Then we were off to North Kansas City Hospital. We arrived at the doctor around 10:30 a.m. to be checked. I did not have my hopes up because on Monday I was still at a 1 (I had been dilated to 1 cm. since 36 weeks) and was 0% effaced. Going through another exam was not something I was looking forward to. After all, it was my second exam in a 48 hour time frame. As my doctor was examining me I was studying her face. I was looking for any kind of sign that I had made progress and that these contractions were actually being productive.
Then, I saw the sign that I had been waiting for. My doctor looked at me with a smile and said, "Well, you sure have made progress and those contractions are doing something!" I was now dilated to a 3 and was 50% effaced! This was exciting news and I felt so empowered. My body was doing what it was supposed to and just like J had been telling me..."Just when we think it's not going to happen, it will happen." My doctor said that she could admit me right then and there OR we could go home, rest, eat a big lunch (after all, once in the hospital I wouldn't be able to eat much) and take some time to ourselves before returning to check in a few hours later.
We drove home with the reality that we would be meeting our son very soon and that these truly were the last moments we would have as just the two of us. Upon arriving home, we ate a fairly large, protein packed breakfast/lunch and enjoyed some down time. I was still feeling pretty comfortable through the contractions and was able to talk and carry on through each one of them.
At 2:00 p.m. we arrived back at the hospital to check in to labor and delivery. We met our first labor and delivery nurse who we both immediately felt comfortable with. She loaded my water mug up with ice chips and water and took us to our room. This was the room our son would be born in.
We went through all the standard procedures of check in (answering health questions, changing into the beautiful hospital gown, making ourselves at home) and then the waiting began. Then, the nurse asked for our birth plan. I wasn't sure how attentive they would be to things we were wishing and hoping for, but they blew me out of the water with how well they took care of us. My nurse checked me and I was still only at a 3, but I had effaced further and my bag of waters was "bulging" which meant that she felt it could break at any time. Contractions were still steady, but not uncomfortable. I was still able to talk through each of them and move around pretty comfortably. We got out of the room and did lots of walking and moving around hoping that by the time my doctor came in after office hours that I would have made significant progress. I remember so ignorantly thinking, this pain is nothing, bring on the stronger contractions.
My doctor came in shortly before 6:00 p.m. to check me. I was sitting on the birth peanut watching my contractions and Calvin's heart rate on the monitors. While examining me, my doctor let me know that I hadn't made much progress (Now, 4 cm dilated and 75% effaced) and asked if I would like her to break my water to get things going. Because I wanted as little intervention as possible, I politely let her know that I was willing to wait and would prefer my bag of waters not be broken. I wanted my body to do things when it was ready.
However, while she was examining me, she discovered that my water had broken because I was leaking. I had felt something while I was on the birth peanut, but didn't think anything of it until she let me know that my water had in fact broken. Now, I always heard people talking about their waters breaking, but you really can't get an idea of what it's like until it happens to you. It was quite a comical moment. Shortly after my exam, I stood up and experienced that "gush" that you see depicted in the movies. I was laughing so hard and each time I would laugh, it would gush more. I could NOT believe how much fluid I had in me. However, once I lost a lot of it, you could immediately see that my belly had shrunk. At this point, my parents and J's mom were in the room and we all got a good laugh at me sitting on the birth peanut with my water continuing to gush. They actually had to call Environmental Services to come and mop the floor. Yes, I was embarrassed.
Once I felt that I could walk around he halls without making a mess (Yes, I told you I wasn't going to hold back, so if you're feeling uncomfortable now, stop reading...it will only get worse) we were doing laps around labor and delivery again. I was still able to walk pretty comfortably and talk through each contraction. Actually, I often forgot to let J and our doula know that I was having one.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
It wasn't until 1:00 a.m. on Thursday morning that the contractions really stepped up their intensity. At this point, I was pretty tired because I'd been having contractions for 24 hours. We all decided as a birthing team that it was time for us to get some rest. We loaded up the DVD player with several discs worth of FRIENDS and settled in for what promised to be a long night. I was able to get little bits of sleep between contractions, but was glad my two "coaches" were both able to get pretty decent rest times.
My wonderful night nurse came in to check me at 3:00 a.m. I was now 100% effaced and 5.5 cm dilated. This was great news because now I just needed to finish dilating which was easier to manipulate than effacing. We decided it would be a good idea for me to take a shower. This would be a good thing because it would not only relax me, but hopefully release some oxytocin which would help labor pick up a bit. The hot water felt so good on my back and was very relaxing. After the shower, my night nurse decided I needed to be on the monitor for a bit to keep a close eye on Calvin's heart rate. It had started to dip a bit during contractions and they wanted to keep an eye on it to make sure that didn't continue. Being on the monitor did prevent me from walking around the halls, but it did help to keep me in bed and allowed for more rest time which I desperately needed after being awake for more than 24 hours.
My doctor came in at 7:30 a.m. to examine me again and I was now between 7 and 8 cm! She also discovered that part of the amniotic membrane was between Calvin's head and my cervix which was preventing him from descending further down the birth canal. My doctor was confident that this would help labor progress and warned me that things would probably become much more intense now. Boy was she right. From this point on I was growing increasingly uncomfortable by the minute and around 9:15 a.m. I began to feel a lot more pressure. Everyone assured me that this was a good sign and the more uncomfortable I was the closer we were to meeting Calvin.
Throughout the next couple of hours, we (the birthing team) and I attempted to make the most of each contraction by walking, squatting and changing positions to help Calvin descend. I distinctly remember being in the bathroom with Joe while I was having a very intense contraction. I looked up at him with huge tears streaming down my face and said, "If this gets any more painful I am not sure I can do it. What if I can't do this?" Of course, Joe reassured me that I was going to be able to do this and that right now I was probably in "transition", another very good sign. Our doula told me afterwards that once she saw me crying she knew birth was that much closer.
We decided to go walk out in the hallway a bit more so that I could squat during contractions and move how I felt the most comfortable. We walked VERY slowly and with each contraction, I was forced to stop, breathe, cry, moan and scream. I am sure that bystanders were terrified. My dear friend and I joked during birthing class that we would never be one of those women who became primal and made noises you had never heard. Well, I became one of those women. I was incredibly primal and it was so freeing. I even remember at the beginning of labor thinking, "Why do people need to make those noises? This doesn't hurt that bad." Silly, silly me. It's amazing how making those noises helps the pain melt away.
I remember during one distinct contraction while we were out in the hallway I told J and our doula that I HAD to get back to the room, I HAD to start pushing. The pressure was THAT intense. Upon arriving at our room door, another contraction waved over me and I had to stop. I leaned on the wall and on Joe, screamed, cried, moaned and pretty sure that I even hit the wall repeatedly at one point. I happened to look down the hall and saw my Mom and Mother-in-Law standing at the entry doors waving through the windows. I waved back and pretty sure I terrified them with what they were seeing. We made it back to the room and I made it to bed. It felt SO good to lay down.
I should mention at this point that my doctor had given me 11:00 a.m. as a sort of deadline. If I wasn't progressing enough and close enough to 10 cm by then, they were going to begin inducing me. My doctor was leaving to go out of town at 2:00 p.m. so I had it in my mind that I was going to give birth to Calvin by lunch time. That was my goal and I truly believe that having this goal really helped me progress because at 11:00 a.m. when I was checked, I was "complete"...meaning I was dilated to a 10 and was fully effaced!
My nurse, the same wonderful nurse that I had on Wednesday, got on her phone and I could hear her say, "We're ready for delivery in room 810." It was really happening. J switched on the play list that I had prepared...piano covers of my favorite country songs and it was .
Joe was PHENOMENAL! Through every push he was the reassurance and peace that I needed. He said all of the right things and made me feel so empowered. I know how exhausted he was, we both were, but he stayed by my side through it all. I will never forget the look on his face and the sounds he made right as Calvin was born. It's something I will keep locked in my memories forever.
Because of exhaustion and being so weak from now having eaten in 24 hours, each push was quite an effort. Believe it or not, I fell asleep in between each contraction and it was a pretty sound sleep. I was just beyond exhausted. After a while, my contractions began to spread out and Calvin was coming out and the receding back in. So, at 1:50 p.m. I agreed to let them begin my pitocin drip a bit early. Normally, they wait until after the baby is born to start it in order to help with uterine contracting and bleeding. My doctor was confident this would help the contractions come close enough together that baby would arrive within a couple of contractions. Now, while I am unsure of whether or not the pitocin helped at all, I felt more empowered than ever and ready to meet my little man.
As I was pushing, I remember asking after several contractions, "He's here right? That was the one?" They would sweetly let me know that he still wasn't born, but I was very close.
We welcomed Calvin West into the world at 2:07 p.m. He weighed in at a very healthy 8 pounds, 11 ounces and was 21 1/2 inches long. He was so alert from the moment he was born looking into our eyes and nursed for 45 minutes within an hour of being born.
I remember a co-worker telling me that the moment your child is born is the most emotional moment as she teared up telling me about it. I can honestly say that in that moment, I felt a flood of emotions and I couldn't have been happier.
This photo beautifully captures that moment and all of the emotions that I was feeling. I remember saying over and over again to J, "He looks just like you! I can't believe how big he is! He's here! I did it!"
Here are a few more photos from Calvin's BIRTHday.
Here is my amazing doctor with Calvin shortly after he was born. She was a phenomenal support throughout this pregnancy and birth and was even willing to stay even though she was supposed to be headed out on a family vacation!
Daddy and Calvin's first photo together. Calvin LOVED his bath and was so happy afterwards.
Mommy and Calvin in our new room, no longer in the "birthing suite."
Sweet, sweet baby Calvin in all of his glory.
I love the look on their faces here. Calvin is so intrigued by J and J is so in love with Calvin and it's all captured in this frame.
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